- eat ur daughter’s tampons to show that youre edgy
- become a Super Hip rapper and say ‘dawg’ a lot
- have an obsession with cheese
- talk about sex a lot with your children
- use ‘chicken nuggets’ as a curse word
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
and no talking
and a lot of misunderstanding and tears
I loathe when people think that I’m shy rather than introverted. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being shy, I’m just not, and they are two separate things. People cajoling me into social situations try to assure me that I “don’t have to talk to everyone” or that “everyone will love me.” Bitch, of course they will like me. I am delightful. I just find prolonged social interactions to be extremely exhausting.
- Me during shower time: What is my mission here on earth? What would have happened if Hitler got killed before he started the war? What if there's a bigger force controlling us right now?
- Me almost falling asleep: I think I've solved the mystery of atlantis, the cure for cancer, the starving in africa and the problems for all bad things in the universe.
- Me during the day: How do I spell house?